Well, this particular Thursday just happened to earn a page in the chapters of my O'so already rich life.
You see, DANGER GIRL & I decided that the drinks weren't enough. DG had brought some extra 'treats' with her and suggested that before we ride, we take a few puffs. As I explained earlier about my desires to become a pot head, in the genuine pursuit of that hobby, I agreed that it was the right thing to do.
PUFF ***PUFF****
And we were on our way!
Our normal route involves quite a bit of street riding but as we got going there happened to be an ambulance up on the sidewalk. We really couldn't see a way around it with out having to go a long way out of our way.....
*If only we knew then what we know now!*
Needless to say we took 'another' route. Somewhere about, uhhh.... 10 blocks down the way we had the brilliant idea to cut through some condo yards and get back on the bike trail....
DANGER GIRL tells me to, "stay put, and she'll be right back!" She wanders off to check it all out and comes back saying, "oh, yeah! the trail is right down there! Just a few woods to go through and we'll be back on track!"
Me, being the trusting person I am, (although I know now that DG's idea of navigation is quite a bit different from mine) says, "alright! let's go!"
Well, what she failed to mention was that the short jaunt to the bike trail was infested with a shit ton O' brush, stumps, mosquitoes, and What do you know? a fucking creek! Oh, and by the time we had dragged/trudged our way to the fricken creek the mosquitoes were so bad I really had hardly any second thoughts about just heading through it. Shoes, socks, bike and all.
Whoo hoo!!!!
I got through ok, while DANGER GIRL took pictures and laughed.
I am always amazed at the creative way I can cuss when put in the right type of situation.
The creek wasn't so bad actually, kinda warm and soothing. The shitty part was mostly just the last 3ft of mud that you had to wade through to get on the trail.
I did it though! Got up on the trail and fended of the swarms of bugs that had followed me through my forest adventures.
I think, maybe in the back of DANGER GIRLS mind she thought that I might not do it. So, when I told her I would go first and then just plunged in she really had no choice but to do it too.
Back on the trail I felt that my buzz had been severely diminished and my soggy muddy shoes/pants needed a little air time. So, we stopped off for danger girl to pee and partake in the ganja once again.
We also felt that we had totally earned some beers, so once we got to WILL'S PLACE it was a must to throw back a few. *Besides, they have Delirium on tap again and we had stories that needed to be regaled.
2-3 beers later, (can't really remember) we're back on our bikes headed home. Feelin' pretty good about how this ride had shaped up.
care free.
high as a kite.
got my buzz on.
riding.
Until.......Somehow or another DANGER GIRL cuts me off and slams into my front tire. BTW, I totally think she did it on purpose. In her mind she just wanted to laugh and point, AGAIN(which of course she did!) and, she also wanted to make sure that everyone else (yes I saw YOU motorcycle man stopped at the light!) did too.
I mean, I really wasn't dirty and muddy and fucked up enough.
That just sealed the deal.
Oh and BTW, I have discovered that I move the fastest when faced with embarrassment. I was up off the ground yelling,
"I broke my leg!!!" (in FEMALE JIMS honor of course)
it took something like, 2.5 seconds.
Now, that is fast!
Hell, I don't even get my pants off that fast!
Even if I'm really horny!
but, either way.
When I got home I poured a bath, peeled off my (now ripped up)muddy, soaked, covered in dirt pants, my muddy socks, my sticky shirt and basically fell into the tub.
Then SISTER called. I had forgotten that we had made plans to go bowling.
So, with most of the dirt soaked off, I drug myself outta the tub and got dressed.
To make a long story short, we bowled 4 games, drank 3 pitchers of beer and when I woke up the next morning I was VERY grateful to be in my own bed.
1 comment:
I forgot to mention too that DANGER GIRLS bike seat broke on the way home and she had to ride her bike like a midget..
Good Times I tell ya!
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