This morning I have decided to truly commit myself to being an alcoholic.
I woke up, called SISTER and then DANGER GIRL, she informed me that she was, 'waking and baking'.... So, I thought it would be a good time to make myself a Bloody Mary and start blogging.
DANGER GIRL also informed me that summer is the time of perpetual soreness.
Looking at the bruises covering my body, I'm in complete agreement.
Have you ever thought that maybe you should just go back to bed and start over?
I'm kinda thinkin that right now..
Wait, I've got to finish my bloody Mary first.
BTW, apparently if you've got an itchy butt it means that there is A)poop still there... or, B)hemmy's.....
(This is all according to DANGER GIRL.)
She says that if your experiencing this you need to get into the shower and take your scrubby thingy and 'tear it up!'.
It doesn't help them go away, but it certainly helps that 'itchy feeling'. Oh, and BROTHER says you can't go wrong with the prepH..
Now, I want you all to know that I don't have a hemmy... and I'm pretty certain there is no poop there.
I just wanted to give the world a little slice of the early morning conversation pie.
Speaking of which, DANGER GIRL suggested that we go play a little chase ball this afternoon.
In the spirit of O', let's say 'summer' I'm inclined to do it. Anything to make me even more sore, and that may potentially give me more bruises and battering...
Why the hell not?
And, besides, I've been pretty much drunk or high since Thursday so why stop now?
The adventures will ensue!
Now, I just need to dig out my tennis racket and find my balls....
ha ha.. I said, 'balls'.
Damn! Maybe I'll even ride my fricken bike there!
WOW! It's amazing how adventuresome just 1 bloody Mary makes ya feel!
I'm gonna recommend it to all my friends!
Hell!, I may even try a little wakey bakey !
Wait...... I'm getting a little ahead of myself.
I'm really NOT that ambitious...
I mean, I'm an active girl and all, it's just that my TRUE ambition really lies in the fact that I want to be the laziest 'active girl' you'll ever meet.
Is that so wrong?
Or, actually, does that even make sense?
I'm really thinking that I should just stick with my original plan of laying on my deck and studying how to fly airplanes.
The fricken world is my oyster! Bloody Mary. No children. The house is silent.
Oh, and BTW, I'm totally naked writing this!
Aren't you all jealous?
Tell you what.
You bring the beer. I'll provide the deck and the fire. The powers that B will provide the sunshine. We'll flash the train occasionally, watch the planes fly over and have a grand Ol' time!
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1 comment:
Oh yeah, and you have poopy hemroids too! Face it the buttonhole does not itch for no reason. Also I totally know you smelled your finger after you scratched.
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