I'm feeling a bit melancholy. So. guess what??? You, the not-so-existent reader get to endure my tirades!!! AH HA HA HA!!!
You see.....I'm stuck between ash, snow, spring, and a bottle of wine that desperately needs to be drank. Of which, I have successfully drank the majority of (just tonight) and plan to finish.
Hey man
it was there sayin, "drink me" and other stuff like, "I've just been sitting here.. gathering dust.." also
"2004!?? That's a great year! Especially for Shiraz from Australia"
So..........
Stop me!
I dare you people!
BTW, experimenting is a wonderful idea. I highly encourage everyone to try it.
In what ever capacity you choose, of course. Actually, blow shit up for all I care. It makes life exciting.
For me, I like to experiment w/food. ALL sorts. Anything and everything, I think, "hmmm....?? What? if anything, can I do to make this delectable?".....
Can I add butter? olive oil? 'TRUFFLE' oil? Wine? beer? BRANDY??????? MORE butter? shallots? onion? peppers.... spices?
The list goes ON & ON & ON..........
That is my kinda science!
Lately though, I've been trying to focus my energy toward what I, as (my true, "I") really want outta life.
What the hell DO I want?
I DO know it HAS to have something to do w/all of the following, but not limited too....cheese/cordial making....making sumptuous dishes......drinking copious amounts of wine/homemade beer...cooking for the majority of the day.....paragliding....reading every book ever written (that's worth a shit.)....boat drinks.....raising a small herd of goats(fainting is acceptable)...tending a garden that feeds people.......bird watching......boating......traveling to any place I choose.....fishing.....building the largest fires known to mankind.......and last, but certainly NOT the very least, philanthropy.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Holding Hands
So, the debate continues on. Can men and women JUST be friends? A certain significant other of a certain sibling on mine insists that men have two types of girl friends... ones they've fucked and ones they have not fucked yet.
I think that perhaps he has a point. Time and time again I am convinced that ALL men think that they are, regardless of shape, size, looks, age, or employment status, the most desirable creatures in the universe and all women will, at some time, want to drop trau for them.
Take for instance a situation I was privy to on a recent outing with a group of friends.
I witnessed a reunion of two old friends, one a man the other a woman. They chatted for a bit and it was obvious that they were faint acquaintances. As the evening progressed the man reached out and caressed the womans' hand, to which the woman looked a bit taken aback and then completely shocked and uncomfortable as the man went further and began to hold her hand.
The woman laughed nervously and on several occasions found some way to remove her hand from the clammy clasp of her predator only to have him pursue the hand holding with greater determination. Hell, I felt uncomfortable for the poor gal!
How the evening ended for these two reunited souls, we will never know, but it does add fodder to fire of the "friend" debate.
What is a girl to do when faced with an aggressive pursuer to whom one does not wish to seem rude? Should she have jerked her hand away and shouted "what the fuck?"
I kinda wish she would have because it would have been a lot more fun!
What goes through a mans' mind when he knows a girl IS just his friend, has a boyfriend, and has in no way given any indication that she wants to fuck him, let alone hold his greasy paw?
Perhaps men and women cannot just be friends or, perhaps its just men who have the issue with delineation between friendship and fucking.
I think that perhaps he has a point. Time and time again I am convinced that ALL men think that they are, regardless of shape, size, looks, age, or employment status, the most desirable creatures in the universe and all women will, at some time, want to drop trau for them.
Take for instance a situation I was privy to on a recent outing with a group of friends.
I witnessed a reunion of two old friends, one a man the other a woman. They chatted for a bit and it was obvious that they were faint acquaintances. As the evening progressed the man reached out and caressed the womans' hand, to which the woman looked a bit taken aback and then completely shocked and uncomfortable as the man went further and began to hold her hand.
The woman laughed nervously and on several occasions found some way to remove her hand from the clammy clasp of her predator only to have him pursue the hand holding with greater determination. Hell, I felt uncomfortable for the poor gal!
How the evening ended for these two reunited souls, we will never know, but it does add fodder to fire of the "friend" debate.
What is a girl to do when faced with an aggressive pursuer to whom one does not wish to seem rude? Should she have jerked her hand away and shouted "what the fuck?"
I kinda wish she would have because it would have been a lot more fun!
What goes through a mans' mind when he knows a girl IS just his friend, has a boyfriend, and has in no way given any indication that she wants to fuck him, let alone hold his greasy paw?
Perhaps men and women cannot just be friends or, perhaps its just men who have the issue with delineation between friendship and fucking.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Spring, My Ass
What to say, what to say? It has been aaaaaaa LOOOOOOONNNNGGGGG fucking winter. It is "Spring Break". Yeah, my ass! I drove to work this morning and it was white out conditions on the highway. Is that any one's idea of Spring? Well in "The Great AK" it is. WTF!??
I have kept myself busy, mind you.
As you know we (SIDEKICK and I) joined the gym.
Now, in NO WAY is this anything like the open road. I don't get to feel the breeze, from the open road. NO, no, no, it is more like stale asbestos that falls from the ceiling of a rather old establishment. Exciting, but still not quite the same.
So to keep myself in shape, I take a class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Not just any class mind you, this class kicks my sweet ass.
And YES, it is still sweet from all of that summer biking! Any whoo, this class is great. For making you wish you would die before it was over, just so you would not have to finish it!
The name of this great class is "Sweat Shop with Andre". And really, I think that about sums it up. No lies in that title.
Well, Andre is a very buff, man of color. AKA: He is black (said in a whisper) Which gives him the advantage of ...... Rhythm .
I know, I know , imagine that.
That being said, his class is filled with all 30, 40, something women, Oh and also (said in a whisper)......one gay guy. Not very many of them have any moves! And, did I mention that this is a dance aerobics class with a whole lot of wanting to die mixed in???
A couple of these gals have been at it for a few years, so they do have a little rhythm,.... Now! After years!!!! While most of us don't got what we need.
One gal, while fit and somewhat rhythm gifted, can bust a move, and works it to the fullest, but this poor gal has the worst case of Flying Squirrel Arms this side of the Mississippi. Another gal thinks she's got moves coming from the gods. But, Oh My God! Wow, I get scared when I have to work out next to her. Then, of course, the only (whisper) black gal, has got moves that would make Janet Jackson take notice.
Either way, I am not sure what the heck goes on Tuesdays and Thursdays,but man do I get a bad case of the, need to farts. (While that is all fine and dandy, I prefer not to do it in public places.) My biggest fear is that while the music is mellow,and we are working on our abs one of those little bubbles is gonna come down the shoot, and despite my attempts at holding it in, will escape. Making for a loud and embarrassing scene.
But, by far the worst part about this class is, the need for a sports bra. These damn contraptions, are made by a man. (I'm sure of it!) My size D's, were not meant to be held up by small straps that are anchored at the base of my neck and shoulders.
These fucking things have to be put on over the head, and to get the girls in them, you have to have had contortionist classes.
First smash them, then, lift and puuuuullllllll them into place. Repeat other tit.
Once in this god damn thing, you can move and shake, and the girls just bounce along. Less than if you did not wear one, but still not enough. Sorta like putting your titties on a shelf and then jogging.
Gals with boobs larger than a B are not meant to run!!!
All of this aside, there is nothing I would like more now, than a good long ride. Rain or Shine!
I have kept myself busy, mind you.
As you know we (SIDEKICK and I) joined the gym.
Now, in NO WAY is this anything like the open road. I don't get to feel the breeze, from the open road. NO, no, no, it is more like stale asbestos that falls from the ceiling of a rather old establishment. Exciting, but still not quite the same.
So to keep myself in shape, I take a class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Not just any class mind you, this class kicks my sweet ass.
And YES, it is still sweet from all of that summer biking! Any whoo, this class is great. For making you wish you would die before it was over, just so you would not have to finish it!
The name of this great class is "Sweat Shop with Andre". And really, I think that about sums it up. No lies in that title.
Well, Andre is a very buff, man of color. AKA: He is black (said in a whisper) Which gives him the advantage of ...... Rhythm .
I know, I know , imagine that.
That being said, his class is filled with all 30, 40, something women, Oh and also (said in a whisper)......one gay guy. Not very many of them have any moves! And, did I mention that this is a dance aerobics class with a whole lot of wanting to die mixed in???
A couple of these gals have been at it for a few years, so they do have a little rhythm,.... Now! After years!!!! While most of us don't got what we need.
One gal, while fit and somewhat rhythm gifted, can bust a move, and works it to the fullest, but this poor gal has the worst case of Flying Squirrel Arms this side of the Mississippi. Another gal thinks she's got moves coming from the gods. But, Oh My God! Wow, I get scared when I have to work out next to her. Then, of course, the only (whisper) black gal, has got moves that would make Janet Jackson take notice.
Either way, I am not sure what the heck goes on Tuesdays and Thursdays,but man do I get a bad case of the, need to farts. (While that is all fine and dandy, I prefer not to do it in public places.) My biggest fear is that while the music is mellow,and we are working on our abs one of those little bubbles is gonna come down the shoot, and despite my attempts at holding it in, will escape. Making for a loud and embarrassing scene.
But, by far the worst part about this class is, the need for a sports bra. These damn contraptions, are made by a man. (I'm sure of it!) My size D's, were not meant to be held up by small straps that are anchored at the base of my neck and shoulders.
These fucking things have to be put on over the head, and to get the girls in them, you have to have had contortionist classes.
First smash them, then, lift and puuuuullllllll them into place. Repeat other tit.
Once in this god damn thing, you can move and shake, and the girls just bounce along. Less than if you did not wear one, but still not enough. Sorta like putting your titties on a shelf and then jogging.
Gals with boobs larger than a B are not meant to run!!!
All of this aside, there is nothing I would like more now, than a good long ride. Rain or Shine!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
It's fucking snowing.....
AGAIN! geeze! When will it ever end? When will I be free to ride the trails on my sweet bike? When will I be able to flip off my car while leaving it behind in a trail of dust??? When will I be able to bask in the sunlight without 15 layers of clothing???....
All the patients keep saying, "it's almost spring." Oh yeah??? Have you taken a little gander out-fucking-side lately?
It's NOT like spring, it's like fucking WINTER!
Right now I'm going outside to go make a snow fort, climb in and go to sleep.
Don't wake me up til' it really is spring.
All the patients keep saying, "it's almost spring." Oh yeah??? Have you taken a little gander out-fucking-side lately?
It's NOT like spring, it's like fucking WINTER!
Right now I'm going outside to go make a snow fort, climb in and go to sleep.
Don't wake me up til' it really is spring.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
In Singapore it's like 90 right now....
Ok. It's March already. I'm patiently waiting for the days to become warmer. I am seeing signs of spring though. Like when I leave the gym @ the ass crack of dawn it's actually light out. Or, when I sleep in til 8:30am on the weekends, it's full on bright out day by then. Also, when we walk everyday @ lunch (even though it's been like 20 the last week) I can't help but see tell tale signs of spring.
Now, GORRAM IT if only the fricken weather would catch up!
On a whole other subject, I'd like to chat about gas.........
Not the kind that goes into your lawn mower or snow machine, or even your car. The kind that blows outta yer anus. The kind that stinks to high heaven, or if your DANGER GIRL it just trumpets out your ass like a fog horn never to be heard from again or even smelled. You see, the reason for this diatribe is due to the fact that, (beyond DANGER GIRL just letting one loose in the other office that got me to thinking about it in the first place) I eat copious amounts of garlic. I'm very serious. You see, I eat, let's say, possibly 40-100 cloves of fresh/cut/sliced/cooked/mashed/etc etc... garlic a week...
Of course given my mood and how much I really cook.
But,
I'm trying really hard to figure a use for all this extra gas that emanates from my bung hole due to the shit ton of garlic I consume.
I mean, could this be the solution to our national crises? Could my ass air solve our national deficit? Would my flatulence save all of the failing car dealerships?Maybe I should call up Obama and offer my 'wind service' to help with our energy crises, Lord knows I could use some help with my gas bill.
Or, maybe I'm contributing to that hole in the "ozone" everyone keeps talkin about.
Geeze.....
This is quite the conundrum.
I'm going to have to think a bit more and get back to you.
In the mean time, you'd best cover your noses.
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