JUNE???? Whaaaaat?

Geeze!!??? It's been since JUNE?.?.?. We're really slacking here. Well, I suppose I'm the one to blame. I have been ,,less,, than motivated.. to do ALL sorts O' stuff this summer. (please take note of the ,,under quotes,,.. They really do mean ,,something,,)
I thought that THIS was the summer of 'all' fitness. ......
.......
Yeah, .... NO.
I'm no more motivated now, than I was when I was at my deepest, dark depression after having 2 consecutive children at 15& 16.
Which reminds me.
I was just regaling this story to my newly mother'd friend...
I was, like, 15, and my youngest daughter had been crying for, like...... HOURS. (I revert to the obvious use of the word, "like".. Cause I was, like.... a Valley girl....Or, at least I tried to fashion myself to be, like..... one.) Any whoo.. At this point I'm crying myself, screaming for my mom to come take this fricken kid before I just go ahead and leave her at the nearest convent...'
(Lucky for me) I lived at home and my mom FINALLY felt sorry and rescued me.

You know, I'm always touting that girls should have their kids young, in fact.. The younger, the better.. get it all outta the way. Raise your kids in oblivion, all the better to enjoy your adulthood.
That's what I say!!!
Grow up with your kids...
That way at least when they come to you, bitching about how you 'did them wrong' .. You can honestly say that you "did the best you could, with what you had, blah.. blah ... blahdy blah...".........
Well, that and the fact that you really don't have too much of a recollection of anything that happened later anyway. (which TOTALLY helps)
You're pretty much home free!!
ANY WAY... back to my being somewhat lame, unmotivated and depressed.
****Nothing like pulling you in, and then just kickin' the stool out from underneath yer short little midget legs!!!
hold on a minute..

. I need another drink!!!....



OK!!! I forgot how fun it is to espouse, whilst getting all shitty on vodka! GOOD TIMES!!!

It's not like I haven't been doin stuff. I've been working. Traveling. cleaning....eating... drinking....... listening to music...
You KNOW?!! ....Stuff......
I am faced with the conundrum of, "what will it take to make you, *me* happy?'
Should I resume flight lessons? Or, just fly to other countries and experience the 'different lives'? Should I go back to school and finish my philosophy/business/anthropology degree? Should I write a book? Should I pursue my painting? Should I hop the nearest freight train and see how far east I can ride?..... Should I live in my house, content with keeping up with the upkeep and general entertaining? Should I throw one great party a year and call it 'good'... and then spend the rest of the year planning for it?... Should I sell my properties, buy a boat and sail the seas of cheese? Say, for that matter, should I open a cheese shop? Maybe, I'll just grow my hair out, quit shaving and start wearing patchouli.?.....

I guess that is the (one) thing about having kids early.

I just realized....
You suddenly find yourself in a position of freedom. ..
and, I mean, Ultimate freedom. No responsibilities. No obligations.
Is this what "midlife crisis" entails? Am I having a mid life crisis?
At 34? IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!
Wait.... I'm the girl that had kids at 14&15... Does that fast-forward my progress?
Am I actually 'time wise', "right on time"?
I've got money. I've got looks. I've got possibilities.
WHAT? Oh, what, should I do??..........

I suppose I'll just bide my time. For now. I make no plans. I ride the wave.


In fact, I think......

I WILL sail the seas of cheese!!!
At least for now.