Danger Girl does it Westcoast Style

Being the gal that I am, a seeker of adventure, a lover of life, a doer, mover and shaker, a beer drinking load mouth.

I could go on forever, but I digress. I decided that I needed to shake things up a bit. My offspring have grown to think that I am the maid, the door mat, and the cook.

So as to teach them a lesson I have decided to hit the road.

See ya later suckers, I am out of here!


Whoo hoo goin to Washington to party it up!

I made my travel arrangements, found some NICEGUY , to let me mooch off of him for a week! (Poor unsuspecting fella)

Well upon my arrival, NICEGUY lays out the plans for the week. He borrowed a bike from his nice neighbor lady. At this point he has a hole day of biking planned! Yeah, me being the biker chick that I am, I am so excited! Oh and did I mention that NICEGUY also aquired an IPOD for me!!!!!!!

Well we get to his house and I take a look at the bike. I think well this is a totally workable bike. I can ride this, after all it is a Trek. They make good bikes...... Well the first thing I do, is take the sissy padded seat thing off. (Fucking amatures) Well the seat underneath is not much better, but hell it will work. Right? I am not fussy, I just want to ride.

Well the day arrives! It is a glorious day, the sun was shining, a soft breeze is blowing and the trail looks awsome. Washington is the Evergreen state, and that it is. The scenery was amazing, lots of lakes and rivers.

See in Washington, they like bikers. I take that back they FUCKING LOVE bikers! We have our own lanes, on major roads no less. Anyways back to it.....

We get all loaded up, our IPODs strapped on, our shiznitz ready and we roll. I was overcome with the sense of YESSSSSSSSSSS!
Let me just interject here that riding with music is even more amazing than I thought. I spent a good majority of the time fucking with my music and the rest of the time in awe of the beauty that surrounds me.

Well about 5 miles into the ride I start to have pain.......Not any pain, no the worst kind of pain, pussy pain, pain in the drain, twat twitches, crotch cramp to the full effect.

Again, fucking ameture bikers. She must have traded seats for the fat sally seat. Now mind you I am used to a slim line, perfectly padded seat. One that rubs all of the "right" spots. This seat is so not that.

Well NICEGUY (who I might add does not road bike very often) has a SWEET bike. Street tires, slim seat, the works. He is smokin my ass.... and I mean smokin it. Well this does not bode well with me. No and he is not even nice about it , as a matter of fact I think that he is relishing the moment. To make matters worse I have to get off and rest my mashed, smooshed , mangled girly parts. Needless to say we biked a total of 20 miles that day, and I had to reach in at the end of the day and pull my shit back out.

All of that aside, yes I think I will ride again, on that lousy bike even, because I am that much of a junky. As for coming home I am not sure about that one....... I could get used to the city life, no kids, being a mooch, not working, and all of that, I could have my bike shipped up and just ride everyday.