I'm feeling a bit melancholy. So. guess what??? You, the not-so-existent reader get to endure my tirades!!! AH HA HA HA!!!
You see.....I'm stuck between ash, snow, spring, and a bottle of wine that desperately needs to be drank. Of which, I have successfully drank the majority of (just tonight) and plan to finish.
Hey man
it was there sayin, "drink me" and other stuff like, "I've just been sitting here.. gathering dust.." also
"2004!?? That's a great year! Especially for Shiraz from Australia"
So..........
Stop me!
I dare you people!
BTW, experimenting is a wonderful idea. I highly encourage everyone to try it.
In what ever capacity you choose, of course. Actually, blow shit up for all I care. It makes life exciting.
For me, I like to experiment w/food. ALL sorts. Anything and everything, I think, "hmmm....?? What? if anything, can I do to make this delectable?".....
Can I add butter? olive oil? 'TRUFFLE' oil? Wine? beer? BRANDY??????? MORE butter? shallots? onion? peppers.... spices?
The list goes ON & ON & ON..........
That is my kinda science!
Lately though, I've been trying to focus my energy toward what I, as (my true, "I") really want outta life.
What the hell DO I want?
I DO know it HAS to have something to do w/all of the following, but not limited too....cheese/cordial making....making sumptuous dishes......drinking copious amounts of wine/homemade beer...cooking for the majority of the day.....paragliding....reading every book ever written (that's worth a shit.)....boat drinks.....raising a small herd of goats(fainting is acceptable)...tending a garden that feeds people.......bird watching......boating......traveling to any place I choose.....fishing.....building the largest fires known to mankind.......and last, but certainly NOT the very least, philanthropy.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Holding Hands
So, the debate continues on. Can men and women JUST be friends? A certain significant other of a certain sibling on mine insists that men have two types of girl friends... ones they've fucked and ones they have not fucked yet.
I think that perhaps he has a point. Time and time again I am convinced that ALL men think that they are, regardless of shape, size, looks, age, or employment status, the most desirable creatures in the universe and all women will, at some time, want to drop trau for them.
Take for instance a situation I was privy to on a recent outing with a group of friends.
I witnessed a reunion of two old friends, one a man the other a woman. They chatted for a bit and it was obvious that they were faint acquaintances. As the evening progressed the man reached out and caressed the womans' hand, to which the woman looked a bit taken aback and then completely shocked and uncomfortable as the man went further and began to hold her hand.
The woman laughed nervously and on several occasions found some way to remove her hand from the clammy clasp of her predator only to have him pursue the hand holding with greater determination. Hell, I felt uncomfortable for the poor gal!
How the evening ended for these two reunited souls, we will never know, but it does add fodder to fire of the "friend" debate.
What is a girl to do when faced with an aggressive pursuer to whom one does not wish to seem rude? Should she have jerked her hand away and shouted "what the fuck?"
I kinda wish she would have because it would have been a lot more fun!
What goes through a mans' mind when he knows a girl IS just his friend, has a boyfriend, and has in no way given any indication that she wants to fuck him, let alone hold his greasy paw?
Perhaps men and women cannot just be friends or, perhaps its just men who have the issue with delineation between friendship and fucking.
I think that perhaps he has a point. Time and time again I am convinced that ALL men think that they are, regardless of shape, size, looks, age, or employment status, the most desirable creatures in the universe and all women will, at some time, want to drop trau for them.
Take for instance a situation I was privy to on a recent outing with a group of friends.
I witnessed a reunion of two old friends, one a man the other a woman. They chatted for a bit and it was obvious that they were faint acquaintances. As the evening progressed the man reached out and caressed the womans' hand, to which the woman looked a bit taken aback and then completely shocked and uncomfortable as the man went further and began to hold her hand.
The woman laughed nervously and on several occasions found some way to remove her hand from the clammy clasp of her predator only to have him pursue the hand holding with greater determination. Hell, I felt uncomfortable for the poor gal!
How the evening ended for these two reunited souls, we will never know, but it does add fodder to fire of the "friend" debate.
What is a girl to do when faced with an aggressive pursuer to whom one does not wish to seem rude? Should she have jerked her hand away and shouted "what the fuck?"
I kinda wish she would have because it would have been a lot more fun!
What goes through a mans' mind when he knows a girl IS just his friend, has a boyfriend, and has in no way given any indication that she wants to fuck him, let alone hold his greasy paw?
Perhaps men and women cannot just be friends or, perhaps its just men who have the issue with delineation between friendship and fucking.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Spring, My Ass
What to say, what to say? It has been aaaaaaa LOOOOOOONNNNGGGGG fucking winter. It is "Spring Break". Yeah, my ass! I drove to work this morning and it was white out conditions on the highway. Is that any one's idea of Spring? Well in "The Great AK" it is. WTF!??
I have kept myself busy, mind you.
As you know we (SIDEKICK and I) joined the gym.
Now, in NO WAY is this anything like the open road. I don't get to feel the breeze, from the open road. NO, no, no, it is more like stale asbestos that falls from the ceiling of a rather old establishment. Exciting, but still not quite the same.
So to keep myself in shape, I take a class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Not just any class mind you, this class kicks my sweet ass.
And YES, it is still sweet from all of that summer biking! Any whoo, this class is great. For making you wish you would die before it was over, just so you would not have to finish it!
The name of this great class is "Sweat Shop with Andre". And really, I think that about sums it up. No lies in that title.
Well, Andre is a very buff, man of color. AKA: He is black (said in a whisper) Which gives him the advantage of ...... Rhythm .
I know, I know , imagine that.
That being said, his class is filled with all 30, 40, something women, Oh and also (said in a whisper)......one gay guy. Not very many of them have any moves! And, did I mention that this is a dance aerobics class with a whole lot of wanting to die mixed in???
A couple of these gals have been at it for a few years, so they do have a little rhythm,.... Now! After years!!!! While most of us don't got what we need.
One gal, while fit and somewhat rhythm gifted, can bust a move, and works it to the fullest, but this poor gal has the worst case of Flying Squirrel Arms this side of the Mississippi. Another gal thinks she's got moves coming from the gods. But, Oh My God! Wow, I get scared when I have to work out next to her. Then, of course, the only (whisper) black gal, has got moves that would make Janet Jackson take notice.
Either way, I am not sure what the heck goes on Tuesdays and Thursdays,but man do I get a bad case of the, need to farts. (While that is all fine and dandy, I prefer not to do it in public places.) My biggest fear is that while the music is mellow,and we are working on our abs one of those little bubbles is gonna come down the shoot, and despite my attempts at holding it in, will escape. Making for a loud and embarrassing scene.
But, by far the worst part about this class is, the need for a sports bra. These damn contraptions, are made by a man. (I'm sure of it!) My size D's, were not meant to be held up by small straps that are anchored at the base of my neck and shoulders.
These fucking things have to be put on over the head, and to get the girls in them, you have to have had contortionist classes.
First smash them, then, lift and puuuuullllllll them into place. Repeat other tit.
Once in this god damn thing, you can move and shake, and the girls just bounce along. Less than if you did not wear one, but still not enough. Sorta like putting your titties on a shelf and then jogging.
Gals with boobs larger than a B are not meant to run!!!
All of this aside, there is nothing I would like more now, than a good long ride. Rain or Shine!
I have kept myself busy, mind you.
As you know we (SIDEKICK and I) joined the gym.
Now, in NO WAY is this anything like the open road. I don't get to feel the breeze, from the open road. NO, no, no, it is more like stale asbestos that falls from the ceiling of a rather old establishment. Exciting, but still not quite the same.
So to keep myself in shape, I take a class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Not just any class mind you, this class kicks my sweet ass.
And YES, it is still sweet from all of that summer biking! Any whoo, this class is great. For making you wish you would die before it was over, just so you would not have to finish it!
The name of this great class is "Sweat Shop with Andre". And really, I think that about sums it up. No lies in that title.
Well, Andre is a very buff, man of color. AKA: He is black (said in a whisper) Which gives him the advantage of ...... Rhythm .
I know, I know , imagine that.
That being said, his class is filled with all 30, 40, something women, Oh and also (said in a whisper)......one gay guy. Not very many of them have any moves! And, did I mention that this is a dance aerobics class with a whole lot of wanting to die mixed in???
A couple of these gals have been at it for a few years, so they do have a little rhythm,.... Now! After years!!!! While most of us don't got what we need.
One gal, while fit and somewhat rhythm gifted, can bust a move, and works it to the fullest, but this poor gal has the worst case of Flying Squirrel Arms this side of the Mississippi. Another gal thinks she's got moves coming from the gods. But, Oh My God! Wow, I get scared when I have to work out next to her. Then, of course, the only (whisper) black gal, has got moves that would make Janet Jackson take notice.
Either way, I am not sure what the heck goes on Tuesdays and Thursdays,but man do I get a bad case of the, need to farts. (While that is all fine and dandy, I prefer not to do it in public places.) My biggest fear is that while the music is mellow,and we are working on our abs one of those little bubbles is gonna come down the shoot, and despite my attempts at holding it in, will escape. Making for a loud and embarrassing scene.
But, by far the worst part about this class is, the need for a sports bra. These damn contraptions, are made by a man. (I'm sure of it!) My size D's, were not meant to be held up by small straps that are anchored at the base of my neck and shoulders.
These fucking things have to be put on over the head, and to get the girls in them, you have to have had contortionist classes.
First smash them, then, lift and puuuuullllllll them into place. Repeat other tit.
Once in this god damn thing, you can move and shake, and the girls just bounce along. Less than if you did not wear one, but still not enough. Sorta like putting your titties on a shelf and then jogging.
Gals with boobs larger than a B are not meant to run!!!
All of this aside, there is nothing I would like more now, than a good long ride. Rain or Shine!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
It's fucking snowing.....
AGAIN! geeze! When will it ever end? When will I be free to ride the trails on my sweet bike? When will I be able to flip off my car while leaving it behind in a trail of dust??? When will I be able to bask in the sunlight without 15 layers of clothing???....
All the patients keep saying, "it's almost spring." Oh yeah??? Have you taken a little gander out-fucking-side lately?
It's NOT like spring, it's like fucking WINTER!
Right now I'm going outside to go make a snow fort, climb in and go to sleep.
Don't wake me up til' it really is spring.
All the patients keep saying, "it's almost spring." Oh yeah??? Have you taken a little gander out-fucking-side lately?
It's NOT like spring, it's like fucking WINTER!
Right now I'm going outside to go make a snow fort, climb in and go to sleep.
Don't wake me up til' it really is spring.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
In Singapore it's like 90 right now....
Ok. It's March already. I'm patiently waiting for the days to become warmer. I am seeing signs of spring though. Like when I leave the gym @ the ass crack of dawn it's actually light out. Or, when I sleep in til 8:30am on the weekends, it's full on bright out day by then. Also, when we walk everyday @ lunch (even though it's been like 20 the last week) I can't help but see tell tale signs of spring.
Now, GORRAM IT if only the fricken weather would catch up!
On a whole other subject, I'd like to chat about gas.........
Not the kind that goes into your lawn mower or snow machine, or even your car. The kind that blows outta yer anus. The kind that stinks to high heaven, or if your DANGER GIRL it just trumpets out your ass like a fog horn never to be heard from again or even smelled. You see, the reason for this diatribe is due to the fact that, (beyond DANGER GIRL just letting one loose in the other office that got me to thinking about it in the first place) I eat copious amounts of garlic. I'm very serious. You see, I eat, let's say, possibly 40-100 cloves of fresh/cut/sliced/cooked/mashed/etc etc... garlic a week...
Of course given my mood and how much I really cook.
But,
I'm trying really hard to figure a use for all this extra gas that emanates from my bung hole due to the shit ton of garlic I consume.
I mean, could this be the solution to our national crises? Could my ass air solve our national deficit? Would my flatulence save all of the failing car dealerships?Maybe I should call up Obama and offer my 'wind service' to help with our energy crises, Lord knows I could use some help with my gas bill.
Or, maybe I'm contributing to that hole in the "ozone" everyone keeps talkin about.
Geeze.....
This is quite the conundrum.
I'm going to have to think a bit more and get back to you.
In the mean time, you'd best cover your noses.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Crap!
I just started reading some of the past blogs and I must say..... I think I might have a real problem w/ sweat. It's not just a constant in my blogging, but in my life. I apologize to the millions of non-existent readers out there. I very well may have recently flung some sweat on you.
Please bring your towels next time.
Sincerely yours,
SOME OFFICE GUYS SIDEKICK
Please bring your towels next time.
Sincerely yours,
SOME OFFICE GUYS SIDEKICK
I'm sweltering!
FUCK! It's hot! DANGER GIRLS' MINI ME stayed home from school today and she even said she was sweaty. Now, don't get my wrong. It's not like it's even hot outside. As a matter of fact it's currently a balmy 47 degrees.
It's the in-doors that's killin me. I just checked the temperature gauge and it's reading a cool 80....in the shade.
This is kinda like hell on earth for me. I wish everyone would give up those damn preconceived notions about clothing. If that could only happen, hell! I'd be nekked ALL the time...... But. Sadly, NO. It'll never happen. Especially in these days, in these here Americas.
So here I sit. Sweaty.
Sweaty in my pits.
Sweaty in my in between places.
Sweaty in my shoes.
My neck is even sweaty..
Now, I must admit. I have been sweatier. Many times. Often when I was riding my bike last summer. More oftener when I am having a wild romp in the sack. Occasionally when I have a really large poop.
In fact now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure that I've already blogged about it before.. Waaaay back last year.
hmmm...... Seems to be a reoccurring theme with me.
Ahhh well.
You can never talk enough about some things.
It's the in-doors that's killin me. I just checked the temperature gauge and it's reading a cool 80....in the shade.
This is kinda like hell on earth for me. I wish everyone would give up those damn preconceived notions about clothing. If that could only happen, hell! I'd be nekked ALL the time...... But. Sadly, NO. It'll never happen. Especially in these days, in these here Americas.
So here I sit. Sweaty.
Sweaty in my pits.
Sweaty in my in between places.
Sweaty in my shoes.
My neck is even sweaty..
Now, I must admit. I have been sweatier. Many times. Often when I was riding my bike last summer. More oftener when I am having a wild romp in the sack. Occasionally when I have a really large poop.
In fact now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure that I've already blogged about it before.. Waaaay back last year.
hmmm...... Seems to be a reoccurring theme with me.
Ahhh well.
You can never talk enough about some things.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
i'm drunk.........
But really, what's new? NOTHING!!! I spend my time drinking. getting drunk. working out. getting drunk. eating things that make me fat. drinking more, then drinking some more.... What the FUCK?????
OK, So.... I have NO self control.
I DO like to think of myself as an attractive woman. BUT.....Am I? Really???????
Well.....YES!! Of course I am!!!
I mean it's all about positive thinking, right???????
GEEEEEzzzzze!!!!!
I met a fortune teller tonight!
She looked at me and told me in a round-about-way what I thought I was thinking. Now, is that a coincidence or just pure luck? Was I just susceptible to her sayings?
I think not. This gal was good.
I tend to believe in cosmic things, SO I believe it was sorta cosmic. She told me that I, "Just needed to let go." That, "I've been wanting to leave, yet, 'the people I love' I'm afraid that they won't come with me.......Well, she assured me that when I make the decision to go, that 'they' will follow....
Now, get me straight. This woman didn't know me from frickin Adam. Yet, she was,Spot On.
Either way. There are so many other things to be told. But, Iz GOTZ to go to bed!
So,Ciao for NOW.
OK, So.... I have NO self control.
I DO like to think of myself as an attractive woman. BUT.....Am I? Really???????
Well.....YES!! Of course I am!!!
I mean it's all about positive thinking, right???????
GEEEEEzzzzze!!!!!
I met a fortune teller tonight!
She looked at me and told me in a round-about-way what I thought I was thinking. Now, is that a coincidence or just pure luck? Was I just susceptible to her sayings?
I think not. This gal was good.
I tend to believe in cosmic things, SO I believe it was sorta cosmic. She told me that I, "Just needed to let go." That, "I've been wanting to leave, yet, 'the people I love' I'm afraid that they won't come with me.......Well, she assured me that when I make the decision to go, that 'they' will follow....
Now, get me straight. This woman didn't know me from frickin Adam. Yet, she was,Spot On.
Either way. There are so many other things to be told. But, Iz GOTZ to go to bed!
So,Ciao for NOW.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Pent up and need to ride
Well it has been awhile since my last post. No biking, no material .
I so miss my bike! The gym is not the same.
Well speaking of the gym, I have seen some strange things. One time after an agonizing workout, I go in the locker room to change and well, there is this lady sitting on a bench.
No wait it gets better,
She is a somewhat large lady, all hunched over trying to look at her Whoo Haaa. I don't(or can't) believe she knew I was coming. WOW! Do that stuff at home people. That is why they sell full length mirrors.
When ever I am driving, and I see bums the memories just flood back. I miss my sore ass, crotch cramp, and everything else associated with biking.
I feel like the lack of yelling at people in their cars is causing me to take it out on innocent bystanders. Hey, Fuck You!
Oops see what I mean. Nothing personal, just pent up and need to ride.
I so miss my bike! The gym is not the same.
Well speaking of the gym, I have seen some strange things. One time after an agonizing workout, I go in the locker room to change and well, there is this lady sitting on a bench.
No wait it gets better,
She is a somewhat large lady, all hunched over trying to look at her Whoo Haaa. I don't(or can't) believe she knew I was coming. WOW! Do that stuff at home people. That is why they sell full length mirrors.
When ever I am driving, and I see bums the memories just flood back. I miss my sore ass, crotch cramp, and everything else associated with biking.
I feel like the lack of yelling at people in their cars is causing me to take it out on innocent bystanders. Hey, Fuck You!
Oops see what I mean. Nothing personal, just pent up and need to ride.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream!
I dreamt that I was walking down a snowy bike trail and a bum with a very large dog walked by me and bit me on the arm.(the bum, NOT the dog)
Then I turned over....
And dreamt that I was driving a snow machine with a trailer attached, that had a bunch O booze on it, in the Toy-Z-R-crust parking lot trying to find a camping spot. The only thing was, was that the parking lot was already full of bums camping out and I was afraid that if I stopped the bums would attack me and drink all my booze.
It made me reminiscent of our bum family....
I'm not really into analyzing my dreams too much, but this one sorta perplexed me.
(I only really try to when they are really interesting..like when I dreamt about riding the flying toilet)
I mean, I GET the booze part and I get the being in the winter part, but the rest?
I think maybe my was my brain trying to cope with this frigid weather, (I mean shit!can it get any colder?) and maybe the bum reference was to summer and my longing for it?
Either way. Blurp.
I'm looking forward to my eyelashes not freezing up on our daily walk, and I'm also really looking forward to the day when I don't have to start my car 30 minutes before I leave. (Thank god gas prices are somewhat cheaper these days)
Oh, and I dream of my bike too.
Right now it's all lonely and cold in the shed. It's just waiting for me to open the doors, tune it up and start riding again, I just know it.
What a happy day that will be!
Then I turned over....
And dreamt that I was driving a snow machine with a trailer attached, that had a bunch O booze on it, in the Toy-Z-R-crust parking lot trying to find a camping spot. The only thing was, was that the parking lot was already full of bums camping out and I was afraid that if I stopped the bums would attack me and drink all my booze.
It made me reminiscent of our bum family....
I'm not really into analyzing my dreams too much, but this one sorta perplexed me.
(I only really try to when they are really interesting..like when I dreamt about riding the flying toilet)
I mean, I GET the booze part and I get the being in the winter part, but the rest?
I think maybe my was my brain trying to cope with this frigid weather, (I mean shit!can it get any colder?) and maybe the bum reference was to summer and my longing for it?
Either way. Blurp.
I'm looking forward to my eyelashes not freezing up on our daily walk, and I'm also really looking forward to the day when I don't have to start my car 30 minutes before I leave. (Thank god gas prices are somewhat cheaper these days)
Oh, and I dream of my bike too.
Right now it's all lonely and cold in the shed. It's just waiting for me to open the doors, tune it up and start riding again, I just know it.
What a happy day that will be!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Awwwww Shit.
So. I'm on my 3rd, or, maybe my 5th.. drink of the evening.
(Who's counting, right???)
I swear, you start early, USUALLY you finish early.
Not tonight though.
Tonight.
I am on a ROLL.
(AND, I'm tellin ya, I only speak in CAPITALS when I actually mean it)
SISTER & I collaborated, this 29th day of our Lord, 2008. (ok.ok. I've been reading Old English novels and wanted to incorporate it in)
**BTW, Which really means that she did all the work and I fiddled around trying to look busy whilst (another reference to the OL'.E.) getting to claim some credit for actually doing shit....***
HEY!!!! I actually DID DO some shit..Yeps....
(I mean really, I DID take a couple of shits.) But, beyond THAT. ahh, emm....
I cut some bread.
I cut some other stuff up.
I, uh........
I DEEEManded Beer.
I bossed MINI ME around.
I lit some candles.
I washed a shit ton of dishes.
I peed.
I drank beer.
I made MashApOtatOES;said like this:Mash~A~Poe~TAY~toes(say it in a monster voice)
I watched SISTER and learned.
really??????
I DID learn stuff!!!!I swear!
Ohhhhh! I also made some sweet turkey, wild rice, creamy deelicious soup.
I suppose though what it really boils down to is that when all is said and done, whom ever keeps the dishes up, gets to say, HEY!!!! They too, were a part of the whole process.
I am proud to be that person.
There is nothing better to me than having a bunch of incapacitated people, so full from their own gluttony that they have nothing better to do than thank me for their big fat guts.
I derive SO much pleasure from that.
Does that make me a bad person? NO. It Doesn't.
I will eventaully rule you ALL through your guts.. I'll DO IT!!
Do not doubt my ambition.
(You will all bow to my culinary skills!!!)
*******I just need to sharpen my knife over here in the corner for a minute... Don't watch. ****
Trust me. You will one day lie back in complete contentment as a direct result of a deeeelicious meal I have just created.....and.......
THEN, and only then, will I pounce.
It will be unexpected.
AND, I suspect you will shit your pants!!!
(I DO have diapers for such an occasion)
I get ahead of myself though.
Do not be afraid.
I'd hate to scare all of you unsuspecting diners.
YES.
Come to my house.
EAT my food.
I can at least guarantee that you'll like it.
And, if you leave wearing a diaper...
I swear!
I won't be the one to tell.
(That you are now my minion)
AH AH HA HA HA AH HAHA
(Who's counting, right???)
I swear, you start early, USUALLY you finish early.
Not tonight though.
Tonight.
I am on a ROLL.
(AND, I'm tellin ya, I only speak in CAPITALS when I actually mean it)
SISTER & I collaborated, this 29th day of our Lord, 2008. (ok.ok. I've been reading Old English novels and wanted to incorporate it in)
**BTW, Which really means that she did all the work and I fiddled around trying to look busy whilst (another reference to the OL'.E.) getting to claim some credit for actually doing shit....***
HEY!!!! I actually DID DO some shit..Yeps....
(I mean really, I DID take a couple of shits.) But, beyond THAT. ahh, emm....
I cut some bread.
I cut some other stuff up.
I, uh........
I DEEEManded Beer.
I bossed MINI ME around.
I lit some candles.
I washed a shit ton of dishes.
I peed.
I drank beer.
I made MashApOtatOES;said like this:Mash~A~Poe~TAY~toes(say it in a monster voice)
I watched SISTER and learned.
really??????
I DID learn stuff!!!!I swear!
Ohhhhh! I also made some sweet turkey, wild rice, creamy deelicious soup.
I suppose though what it really boils down to is that when all is said and done, whom ever keeps the dishes up, gets to say, HEY!!!! They too, were a part of the whole process.
I am proud to be that person.
There is nothing better to me than having a bunch of incapacitated people, so full from their own gluttony that they have nothing better to do than thank me for their big fat guts.
I derive SO much pleasure from that.
Does that make me a bad person? NO. It Doesn't.
I will eventaully rule you ALL through your guts.. I'll DO IT!!
Do not doubt my ambition.
(You will all bow to my culinary skills!!!)
*******I just need to sharpen my knife over here in the corner for a minute... Don't watch. ****
Trust me. You will one day lie back in complete contentment as a direct result of a deeeelicious meal I have just created.....and.......
THEN, and only then, will I pounce.
It will be unexpected.
AND, I suspect you will shit your pants!!!
(I DO have diapers for such an occasion)
I get ahead of myself though.
Do not be afraid.
I'd hate to scare all of you unsuspecting diners.
YES.
Come to my house.
EAT my food.
I can at least guarantee that you'll like it.
And, if you leave wearing a diaper...
I swear!
I won't be the one to tell.
(That you are now my minion)
AH AH HA HA HA AH HAHA
Monday, November 3, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
I am SO alone.
YEs. I am alone. No one comments on my blog and no one writes any longer, especially me! It's like once I put my bike in the shed, POOF! nothing. My mind dried up.
I suppose I can attribute it to joining the gym and getting up every fricken morning @ 5:45am to work out w/ MINI ME... I mean, beyond yesterday and the weekend.... Those days I was just either too damn lazy or too damn drunk.
(I hate being on the computer when I am drunk. I usually end up drunk emailing or surfing porn til I can't see strait.) NO GOOD!
Jabba Jabba Jabba
It really started snowing today.
During the lunch walk I had to wear my boots, gloves and a hat!
I've finally faced the fact that I'm going to have to transition to my winter clothing. On the plus side though winter is the great time to hunker down and start crocheting again.
(Expect scarfs for X Mas again people!)
Oh yeah! I'm starting a sewing class next week, gonna make a dress and then a jacket. VERY exciting eh? I know, I know.... Your jealous right? Well you will be when I'm wearing my cool new 'home made' clothes!
I may even consider making you something beyond a scarf...
If your lucky.
On the other hand, the last 2 shirts I made didn't turn out that great, sooooo...
I suppose we shall have to see.
Well, like I said I put my bike away a couple weeks ago. After careful and long deliberation, I decided that the only way for me to save $$$ this winter was to buy a new car. *I really don't know how I thought that THAT would actually save me money, but either way.*
I am now currently the proud owner of a tiny little baby new car.
WHooo HOooo!
I mean really, what's all this hubbub about an economic crisis? Hell, my IRA may be taking a shit, but god Damn iT! I have a new car!!!!
(Maybe when I retire I'll be able to live in it.) I won't have Social Security either so why not?
PLUS, I only had to spend $50.00 to fill up my gas tank rather than the $100.00 I normally spend! And, although I now have a car pymnt again, at least I can drive to Seward and back with out having to fill up more than once!
Life is very exciting an this winter is going to be totally awesome. I'll try my best to keep everyone up dated on the happenings.
For now, I promised to teach my niece how to make snow balls and build a snow man.
Common Snow!!!!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
HAPPY B DAY MINI ME
I started that last post on the 15th, but finished it today. So's not to confuse everyone. I really have been slacking!!! I promise I'll do better from here on out.
Yours truly,
SOME OFFICE GUYS SIDE KICK
Monday, September 15, 2008
Neglect.
I apologize to you (the faithless reader) for my lack of ambition lately. You see, I've fallen off the wagon. With school started and having to drive MINI ME everyday, life just hasn't been very exciting.
Beyond the fact that I have been sick as a dog the past two weeks...
Still..
Not very good excuses to not be blogging.
I think that my body was so used to profusely sweating everyday that once I drastically reduced my rides, it rebelled. Needless to say, I am going to join the gym tomorrow and start back on the track to sweating and then in turn being healthy once again.
In the mean time I'm sitting here at work bouncing on my big red exercise ball trying to keep the phlegm from flying.
My head feels like I am swimming in a vat of water.. Every time I swallow it sounds like someone is turning a lamp switch on and off in my brain. Oh yeah! AND,I really have grown fond of coughing! I have decided that the only real way to get that stubborn stomach flab off is to cough excessively.. Everyday, ALL day, and for an added bonus, at least 50 times at night.
MINI ME keeps telling me that I have the BLACK LUNG. I've kinda grown fond of that name and am considering changing.
Oh, BTW, It's MINI ME's 17th B day today. WOW!!!
I can't believe that I am SO fucking close to freedom!!!!
The light at the end of the tunnel is becoming more like the sun everyday. Hey! I can even consider buying both MY LITTLE BLACK RAIN CLOUD and MINI ME luggage for X mas. Speaking of which, since MLBRC has turned 18 she has decided that she can do what ever the hell she wants. Including getting tatted up. (Oh what a dark road she is headed down...) Ha hA ha Ah HA hA HA!!! I keep having dreams of her serving drinks in some dank bar with a stripper pole. Oh well. I don't suppose it's the end of the world if she's covered in tattoos. I'm still gonna love her. Hell, Shit, the girl already has blue fricken hair and her nose is pierced.. Whats a few tats added into the mix, right????
N E Whoo... Back to my freedom. YEEEAAhhh HAAA!!!! I have these brief (VERY BRIEF) moments of nostalgia, thinking about what I'm gonna do once the girls are gone. Then I come to my senses and start planning my escape.
Beyond the fact that I have been sick as a dog the past two weeks...
Still..
Not very good excuses to not be blogging.
I think that my body was so used to profusely sweating everyday that once I drastically reduced my rides, it rebelled. Needless to say, I am going to join the gym tomorrow and start back on the track to sweating and then in turn being healthy once again.
In the mean time I'm sitting here at work bouncing on my big red exercise ball trying to keep the phlegm from flying.
My head feels like I am swimming in a vat of water.. Every time I swallow it sounds like someone is turning a lamp switch on and off in my brain. Oh yeah! AND,I really have grown fond of coughing! I have decided that the only real way to get that stubborn stomach flab off is to cough excessively.. Everyday, ALL day, and for an added bonus, at least 50 times at night.
MINI ME keeps telling me that I have the BLACK LUNG. I've kinda grown fond of that name and am considering changing.
Oh, BTW, It's MINI ME's 17th B day today. WOW!!!
I can't believe that I am SO fucking close to freedom!!!!
The light at the end of the tunnel is becoming more like the sun everyday. Hey! I can even consider buying both MY LITTLE BLACK RAIN CLOUD and MINI ME luggage for X mas. Speaking of which, since MLBRC has turned 18 she has decided that she can do what ever the hell she wants. Including getting tatted up. (Oh what a dark road she is headed down...) Ha hA ha Ah HA hA HA!!! I keep having dreams of her serving drinks in some dank bar with a stripper pole. Oh well. I don't suppose it's the end of the world if she's covered in tattoos. I'm still gonna love her. Hell, Shit, the girl already has blue fricken hair and her nose is pierced.. Whats a few tats added into the mix, right????
N E Whoo... Back to my freedom. YEEEAAhhh HAAA!!!! I have these brief (VERY BRIEF) moments of nostalgia, thinking about what I'm gonna do once the girls are gone. Then I come to my senses and start planning my escape.
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